Friday, 25 January 2013

Why do men hate women?

So all right, every man does not hate women. Not even most men hate women.  But an amazing number of them do.  If they didn't,  the term 'feminist' would not be used as almost a dirty word, there would be no trouble having as many women as men in high paying and influential positions,
               there would be no such thing as the Taliban.

This is the story of Latifa (not her true name, as a Fatwa has been declared against her for daring to speak up.)

She was sixteen, living in Afghanistan, and then the Taliban took over. No more school, no more going out without a smothering garment that limited her vision as well as her agility  - no more freedom. 

And if she did go out, even wrapped up, head down, slinking along like the rubbish the Taliban thought she was, she risked being whipped for transgressions she might not even be aware of. Latifa saw a woman brutally whipped because a hint of white shoe showed under the burqa. White is apparently the colour of the Taliban in all their 'purity' - and what a horrible joke that is.

It is strange how the 'purest' of Muslim men don't hesitate to use rape as a weapon of hatred and power.

There is a horrible story - page 109. Some children went to school - schools for girls, of course, are forbidden.  'One day the bodies of several of them were found in a rubbish dump. They were only seven or eight years old. They had been kidnapped, raped and strangled with their own clothes.' 

The more that women are denigrated, it seems that the more men use rape in order to show their hatred. What else was that affair in India about?   It was not about sex or desire, it was about hatred.  A gang rape involving bus driver and conductor.  Those first were caught and sentenced,  but then what?  Another, almost in imitation. That was India. India is not nearly as bad as many other countries in wanting their women crushed.

Saudi Arabia, the most 'holy' of Islamic nations.  A school was on fire, and the girls tried to flee.  They were sent back inside to dress 'properly.' Several burnt to death. These were just little girls. Only some very sick men find little girls desirable, whether or not they wear a concealing robe.  But these were condemned to an agonising death rather than risk tempting a man.  They must be very susceptible men. It would be nice if they tried a little self control rather than punishing women for their possible 'temptation.' 

One thing I discovered from this book that I hadn't known before, a lot of the Taliban are Pakistani, not Afghans.  Until recently, Pakistan was supposed to be an ally in 'waging war' on terrorism. But then, of course, it was discovered that they were sheltering Osama Bin Laden.

It was in Pakistan where a young girl was shot for speaking out about the right of females to be educated. There have been many other incidents.

Malala Yousufzai, Pakistani girl shot by Taliban, leaves U.K. hospital

By Danica Kirka
Associated Press
Friday, January 4, 2013

LONDON (AP) — A 15-year-old Pakistani girl shot in the head by the Taliban for promoting girls’ education has been released from a Birmingham hospital to live with her family, doctors said Friday.
Photographs released by the Queen Elizabeth Hospital Birmingham showed Malala Yousufzai hugging nurses, waving and smiling shyly.
Malala will live with her parents and two brothers in the UK while she continues to receive treatment, but will be admitted again in the next month for another round of surgery to rebuild her skull.
Experts have been optimistic that Malala, who was airlifted from Pakistan in October to receive specialized medical care, has a good chance of recovery because the brains of teenagers are still growing and can better adapt to trauma.
Malala is a strong young woman and has worked hard with the people caring for her to make excellent progress in her recovery,” said Dr. Dave Rosser, the medical director for University Hospitals Birmingham. “Following discussions with Malala and her medical team, we decided that she would benefit from being at home with her parents and two brothers.”
Malala was returning home from school in Pakistan’s scenic Swat Valley on Oct. 9 when the Taliban targeted her for criticizing their efforts to keep girls from getting an education. The militants have threatened to target Malala again because they say she promotes “Western thinking.”
Pakistani doctors removed a bullet that entered her head and headed toward her spine. The decision to send Malala to Britain was taken in consultation with her family; Pakistan is paying for her treatment.
Pakistan also appointed Malala’s father, Ziauddin, as its education attache in Birmingham. The position, with an initial three-year commitment, virtually guarantees that Malala will remain in Britain for now.
Her case won worldwide recognition, and the teen became a symbol for the struggle for women’s rights in Pakistan. In an indication of her reach, she made the shortlist for Time magazine’s “Person of the Year” for 2012.

So is it only Muslims who want women to be invisible and subservient?  Is it only Muslims who feel that terrible hatred for women?

Well, no.  Christianity was just as bad a few centuries ago. It was debated whether women had a soul, for instance, and hundreds of thousands of  women were burnt at the stake for minor offences such as maybe having red hair or a mole. And who doesn't have some sort of mole or mark that could be construed by a 'witch-finder' as the mark of a witch?  It's the place where she suckles her 'familiar' or some such thing.  There were a few men burned as well - not nearly as many.

There are terrible stories in this book, too,  so many of them that speak of  the hatred that men bear for women.
So was it Saint Jerome who thundered that women should be shamed to have been born woman, or was that Saint Augustine?

It seems that these 'Church Fathers' were terrified of hell, and as sex was evil, then if they gave in to that, they were doomed. And so they went to extremes not to be led astray by 'that evil temptress - woman.'  But the extremes they went to seldom impinged on their own comfort.  No, it was women who were made to suffer.

So sex is evil and religious people fear and punish women for that purpose.  It certainly appears that way.  Sex is still necessary for procreation, and there were ludicrous provisions made in order to ensure little enjoyment for the man, and I assume none at all for the woman. For instance, women had to wear long night-gowns, sometimes with a hole cut - just enough to be able to have intercourse without having to touch that loathsome female skin. 

Occasionally, a religious sect would resort to castration in order to remove the temptation, but that was a rarity. It was easier to blame women for those 'sinful' impulses that plagued them. St. Paul acknowledges, reluctantly, 'Better to marry than to burn.'  His words about 'love'  are used in most weddings, but it sounds doubtful that he ever meant those words to apply to a  man and woman in love.  A minister and his congregation maybe?

So then, is it only religious men who hate women? 

Interesting question.  I don't know.  It is certainly the most common excuse to lock women up and make their lives hell, but other men also mistreat women.

In some cultures, burning an unwanted wife to death is not at all uncommon. Getting drunk and bashing her on a Saturday night is more common. That is not religious, that is simply bullying because  a man can get away with it,  (not so much these days, thank goodness.)  It is strange how a wife-beater whines that he just lost his temper with his wife, when he never loses his temper with a bigger bloke in the pub. Just cowardly bullies. 

And there are still millions of women who are subject to that wicked practice known as 'female circumcision.' This mutilation of the genitals results in very painful sex, often being actually 'cut open' for the wedding night,  problems with menstruation, problems with childbirth,  sometimes resulting in such damage that the woman, afterwards, is unable to keep herself clean. So then she is abandoned.      

But - we are just talking about women - the female sex. 

Every man had a mother who gave birth to him,  who fed him, nurtured him, changed his nappies.  How,  How?  can it be that he can hate women so much? 

According to Latifa, the Taliban would just like to exterminate women - except that sometimes they kidnap young teenagers for 'wives' in order to breed more Taliban. Women are still needed in order to have children.

The Taliban are evil. Extremist Muslims who punish women for being women are evil - and if that includes states such as Saudi Arabia, then their behaviour is evil.  Not well-meaning, not 'it's just their culture,' but evil.  Those old 'saints' of the Christians who condemned women for being women are also evil.

And all you women who wear the Chador or even a headscarf in order to be faithful to your culture should think very carefully about what you are doing. You owe a greater loyalty to your gender than you do to your culture.

In the West, we have fought for the freedoms we now enjoy. Do not undermine those freedoms by voluntarily declaring yourself inferior by wearing a headscarf or by deferring to the man in your life when you should not defer to him.

The very worst of all of this is that soon America and its allies will be leaving Afghanistan, and it is very likely that the Taliban will again take over. Again women will not be allowed to be educated, not be allowed to work, not be allowed to seek medical attention because a male doctor cannot see them and female doctors are not allowed to work...

How,  how?  can a country allow half its citizens to be treated like this?
Why do men hate women so much?

My books of the Shuki Series speak a lot about the inequalities women suffer through, though indirectly.  It  is implicit in any book set in an Arabic Islamic state and the wrongness of it is obvious.
In the third book to be released in April, 2013, I do speak more directly about the way that women are treated. One of the characters is Shaiima, daughter of the Master.  She cannot accept the way things are done, and while her half-sister, Honiara, is married at the age of fourteen, and happy with it,  Shaiima refuses to marry.  Her father does not force her, as he could, but in the end, concedes to her desire to go to an English university.  The Master's family is rich. Most girls do not have the option, whether or not their father would agree.

To buy the first and second of this series, go to
Also available on other online sites such as Amazon.


  1. Great post, Marj. One thing we need to understand is that the Taliban are not practicing Islam. There is nothing in the Koran to back up most of the things they do in the name of their 'religion.' My husband is a Muslim (from West Africa) and he says the Taliban aren't Muslim at all. They've perverted the religion. Like I said, I'm not a Muslim. My husband has never asked me to change my religion, to cover my head, to walk ten feet behind him, nor any of the other things associated with Islam. He has raised our daughters to be educated, strong, opinionated, and equal to men. When my daughter said she didn't want to go to the Mosque, he was disappointed, but supportive of her choice.

    The Taliban aren't Muslims, they're monsters. In the United States, there is an attack on women (though on a much smaller scale) in the name of Christianity. People want to dictate what women do with their own bodies in terms of birth control and family planning.

    Until woman and men are treated as equals everywhere, violence will continue. When crimes against women go unpunished, there is no freedom. This isn't just a 'women's' issue, it's a human issue.

  2. Latifa (author of 'My Forbidden Face') says the same thing - that what the Taliban are doing has very little to do with the Quran, and that their version of Sharia Law is a perverted interpretation of the writings.

    And yes, fundamental Christianity is a threat to the rights of women, as well, though fortunately, not yet on the scale of radical Islam.

  3. Well said, Marj. It's a shame that your readers will mainly be the converted. I agree with you absolutely about even head scarves. It's a badge, something that signals subservience. But I don't know what can be done when some things (like female circumcision) are actually carried out BY women on little girls.

  4. Foot binding in China was carried out by women on little girls. It was also wicked, and it was also done because of men - small feet were sexy or something, or it was a badge that they were rich enough to keep a crippled wife.
    There is no more foot binding. One day, I sincerely hope that there will be no more genital mutilation.

  5. I'm pretty sure it was Saint Augustine who said that women should be ashamed of having been born female, but it could have been both of them. Augustine had a number of perverted ideas about life, gender, sex (he had quite a history of sexual profligacy). Why do men hate women? Partly it's unquestioned tradition (such as: "A man's home is his castle.", "a man has to be a man" and baloney like that), partly a perverted need to control and be in control (when they suspect they're not much in control). I agree that the Taliban are monsters. They seem to need religious affiliation and identification in order to "justify" their sick ideas and behavior, much as certain Christians do.

  6. Thanks, George.
    And just incidentally, third in the Shuki Series - To Love and To Protect' will be available within days, first as a paperback, and then on Smashwords as an ebook.
    Amazon will come later.

  7. Jesus did more to elevate women to a position of honor and respect than anyone. God chose a woman and a former prostitute to be the first person to preach about the resurrection of Jesus---to men!

    Christians who do not treat women with great honor and respect dishonor Jesus and the God who made women in His image.

    I beg to differ about the Quran not being involved with what the Taliban does. The Quran teaches that a husband may beat his wife if she displeases him, for instance.

    1. Quite true. I read it myself. (a translation)