Showing posts with label Child abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Child abuse. Show all posts

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Child Abuse by Institutions.



There has been so much commentary about the issue of child abuse within families. My last post was about the way that the cycle of abuse repeats itself. 

There is also abuse by institutions. I used to think it was mostly 'olden times.'  I read a book recently, full of facts and figures.  The author, Allan Gill, must have done an enormous amount of research. The book is 'Orphans of the Empire,' and while it started out to detail the way that 'orphans' were sent from Britain to provide good white stock for the former colonies, his research showed that Australian-born 'orphans' had it no better.  And the more 'religious' the institution, it appeared the more wickedly they treated the poor kids in their power.  Not their 'care,'  their power.

But that was the not the present day, surely.  We're civilised now - aren't we?  Maybe in the 19th century, there were orphanages where children were dressed in rags, and maybe begged for a little more gruel, but that would have long ended by the 1950s.  The 1950s in Australia was an era of prosperity. We had civilised values - didn't we?


Author Lorraine Cobcroft has opened my eyes.  This is the story of a brother and sister taken from their home and placed in an institution.  Their home was not perfect - poor housing,  occasionally not
enough to eat. But the institution run by nuns was a  lot worse. Now the kids never had enough food, had no care or affection, and were beaten at the slightest excuse or for none at all.

Why were the nuns like this?  Is it because their motivation for becoming nuns was never to do with the love of God?  Could it be that they were casualties of two world wars leading to a shortage of young men and an excess of women?

I am only a few years younger than 'Paul' of the story. I remember hearing that the nuns who taught at the Catholic school could be absolutely wicked.  I didn't take much notice at the time. But these poor kids were in the power of sadistic nuns all the time, not just in school hours. 


'The Pencil Case' is a very important  book.  It deserves to become widely known.







A recent review by Julie on the readers' site, Goodreads:



Throwing children into a lion's den, for their own good?...to save them from some "perceived" hardship?!!?

This is the true story of Paul Wilson (not his real name) and his younger sister Jennifer.

Robbed of the parents he so loved, and robbed of their essential love of him.
Robbed of the chance to grow up with his siblings and his would be status in that order....or indeed to grow at all.
Robbed of any chance at individuality or a unique identity.
Robbed of his very spirit.

Nothing...no mementos, big or small, no photos or keepsakes or any trophy to mark his progression from childhood through adolescence, save for the physical and mental scars he'd been shackled with from a life which had been moulded by the premeditated cruelty and injustice, from so called people of trust and influence...."Carer's".

From the moment of, and as a direct consequence of, his wrongful incarceration at the age of eight years, into what was loosely termed as "Care", Paul's life was plunged into a nightmare of incredible and unbelievable torture and sacrifice of self, which must have seemed to him that he was never again to awaken from.
Even after finally surfacing into adulthood, then marriage and children of his own, as he tried to pick up the pieces and build a future for himself and his family, it seems as if life itself had conspired against Paul by thwarting him at every turn.
Some of this later pain and suffering was a result of his inability to cope in the outside world after so many years of desensitization by the "powers that be", who systematically put him down and calculatedly undermined his self esteem.
Then some was as a direct result of the actions of greedy, manipulative, self preserving and ego driven people, who were wrongfully placed in positions of power, and who used that power to lie and cheat, in order to promote their own selfish interests and keep secure...at whatever cost...a position that would otherwise be redundant.
These include people from religious groups, community leaders, politicians, law enforcement agents, military groups, legal people and so on...none are exempt, and all of which agencies have, at times hence, had representatives who have been held accountable for such abuse of their powers in other circumstances unrelated to this case.

...And yet still, in 2013 certain church leaders are condoning and concealing these and other kinds of atrocities which are being perpetuated on children in their "care"...children who suffer alone, because they don't have a voice. These people have no conscience!

Every person in any position of authority, or in any way affiliated with any organization even remotely concerned with the well being, care and education of children... Should read this story....Especially "religious care", as the very term erroneously implies that they are trustworthy and above suspicion.
This has to be addressed and understood that it is not an acceptable state of affairs.
Is it any wonder genuinely good Christian people struggle with their faith!

It can only be hoped that those responsible for exacting such extreme, brutal and atrocious methods of uncalled for punishment on children for reasons of..what can only be construed as... perverted self gratification... will one day cross over and have to face their own judgement day! Hallelujah to that day!

It makes me very, very angry and sad, and just as it did also, for the aborigines, it leaves me feeling both frustrated and hollow at our inability to make amends... NOTHING on God's earth, can bring back or repay a stolen childhood, nor heal the bruises which for so many victims remain buried deep within, unseen ...and for others, are permanently tattooed on their flesh as a constant reminder of just how many ways a heart and spirit can be broken.

This is an important story that needs to be heard.
Congratulations 'Paul Wilson' for finding the courage to relive it in order that it be told...you are an inspiration. Kudos to your wife and family also.
Congratulations also, to Lorraine Cobcroft for telling it so very well.






To buy 'The Pencil Case' go to an online bookselling site such as Goodreads or Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/Pencil-Case-Lorraine-Ann-Cobcroft/dp/0980571413/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1373260334&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Pencil+case




I very much hope that things are a lot different for children in care these days. My Penwinnard Stories tell of a beach home where the children are treated well, are not beaten, and have sufficient to eat. It is not a religious home, but a private charity home, though it still has to fulfil standards set by the government. There are no nuns.








The third Penwinnard Story is called 'Trevanian's Leap.'
Its release date is September, 2013.

Frank Ryan was coming to the end of his time at Penwinnard. He felt himself so much more grown up now than the scared kid he’d been when his mother had been sentenced to a prison term. But now there was more change coming – a new place to live, a new school, and he’d lose the friends he’d made at Penwinnard, Greg and Leon. He’d never really had friends before.

He shouldn’t be frightened. He was so much more grown up now...










In many cultures, in many countries, there are manhood rituals.  Penwinnard has its own manhood ritual.

To jump off a cliff into a deep pool - it requires courage and it requires judgement. To make an error could mean injury or death. Naturally, it is strictly forbidden,  but when a boy needs courage, it becomes a real temptation.

Frank Ryan leaps off Trevanian's Point, and afterwards,  feels himself that much closer to being a man.












To buy my books, check on online booksellers such as Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or Smashwords'.

http://www.amazon.com/M.-A.-McRae/e/B008BYWRQ2/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1340847276&sr=1-



Sunday, 7 July 2013

Patterns of abuse


How often do we hear that girls who were abused in their homes go on to partner with men who abuse them? And boys who sees their fathers abusing their mothers go on to abuse their own wives and families. 

It is a cycle, and it takes a real act of will to break the cycle. The women have to see themselves as worth more than they've been taught.  The men have to realise that those who abuse their wives and their children are simply cowardly bullies. They have to make the decision not to be like that. It is not destiny. Men and women do have control over their future. They can choose not to be the abused, and most certainly, they can choose not to be the abuser.



Author Tricia Drammeh

This is what author, Tricia Drammeh, has to say.


The Legacy of Abuse

 The subject of domestic abuse is often discussed in the media. Unfortunately, much of this coverage is sensationalized, often focusing on shock-value rather than the causes and solutions of this widespread problem.


You might have heard (or possibly uttered) statements such as, “Any woman who stays with a man who beats her deserves what she gets.” Many people say such things out of ignorance. Though intellectually, they might understand some women stay out of fear or financial necessity, they believe leaving an abuser is as simple as packing up and moving to a shelter.
 

It’s easy to oversimplify abuse when you look at the issue as a problem that only affects the abuser and the victim. But, in most cases of abuse, there’s a community of people involved, either directly or indirectly. There are the enablers, from the mother who refuses to hear her husband molesting a child in the very next room, to the neighbor who notices bruising, but decides it’s none of her business. And we must not forget about the children who grow up in an abusive household, many of whom are destined to repeat the same patterns of abuse, secrets, and shame.  

Abuse is a multifaceted problem, and oftentimes a legacy that is passed down from generation to generation. For a victim who grew up in an abusive environment, leaving an abusive relationship as an adult involves more than a change in their physical situation—it also requires a change in perception. They have to redefine normal. They have to create new patterns, not only for themselves, but for their children.

***
 

Tricia has written a book that conveys a real understanding not just of abuse, but what goes on in the head of the abused, and also, to a lesser extent, of the abuser.  It is a very good book.

"Fifth Circle' by Tricia Drammeh.

'Sean is no stranger to darkness. He's overcome a dangerous addiction, struggled with mental illness, and faced relentless bullying by his peers. His best friend, Alex, has always been there for him, but when he falls in love with her, he replaces his online gaming obsession with a possessive interest in her.

Alex's survival depends upon her ability to lock memories of her troubled childhood deep inside her mind, but an unhealthy relationship with Sean causes dark visions of her past to rise to the surface. Sean's obsession and Alex's complacency collide, resulting in tragedy.

Together, Sean and Alex live in a hell of their own making. One will escape at the expense of the other. Both will discover why Dante chose to condemn the Wrathful and the Sullen in the Fifth Circle of Hell.'


A review:

 

5.0 out of 5 stars Distinctive,  compelling, heart wrenching April 8, 2013


I have to say this is not an easy read. It is a read that delves deep. Sometimes its even difficult to read and accept the reactions of both MC's and the circumstances they face in their lives. But there are so many layers here to explore in both these characters, and the author is not holding back on pulling punches. I love these kind of reads. The ones that stay with you for a very long time. And the fifth circle is exactly one of those reads.
I can't say that I fell in love with the characters, but they sure as heck captured me and wouldn't let me go till I'd finished reading and then even afterwards.
Alex is introverted and a victim in so many ways, at times I wanted to counsel her myself, but that shows powerful writing, when you are so invested in a character, you want to leap into the pages and help them.
Sean, is so complex. There are so many layers to him. Some violent, some generous, some annoying. I could go on, but his narrative is so gripping, you have no idea which way he'll go next or what he'll do, definitely compelling reading.
I loved all the references to Dante's poem, so apt, so in tune to the story and a nice over arching theme to incorporate, particularly with Mr Chalmers, the teacher who cared to inspire and encourage.
This is an excellent read, one to be savoured and one to ponder. Not many authors could pull this off, but Ms. Drammeh has.



My review of 'Fifth Circle.'

This is a story of the relationship between Alex and Sean. Each side is told with conviction. It tells of the sad and the bad, and of the abused and the abuser. It speaks of patterns repeated. I was pleased with the ending, happy that Alex managed to move on to make a life outside of that of a victim. It is something that many victims never manage.  Sean was shown as moving on as well, right at the very last.  



https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/331211

or look for it on Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=tricia+drammeh%2C+fifth+circle


I heartily recommend Tricia's book.


Some of my own books refer to the victims of abuse, but these are a great deal different. These are boys who live in a home, and while many have come from poor homes,
some are victims of circumstance, and just a few are orphans.

But they are survivors - like the animal that lived in this shell. The shell is scarred. It shows signs of creatures that bored through the hard material, and other creatures, limpets or barnacles, have attached themselves to it. But the creature that lived in that shell survived to become bigger than all the other shells washed up on the beach. 


The Penwinnard stories speak of the boys' mischief, their aspirations, and their difficulties. They speak of their spirit, the spirit of survivors.

 An excerpt from the 4th Penwinnard Story, a work in progress.  The beginning stages of an abusive relationship. But this time, foolish Mandy will not end up as a beaten down woman. Isaac is not only on the way to prison, (he doesn't know it yet) but he will have constant pain from his bullet-scarred  legs. And so should end all abusers.
 
'Isaac Lands had a very masculine look about his face, a little harsh even. He was often unshaven, and projected a feeling of power along with the slight body odour that always seem to cling to him. His looks made him attractive to a certain type of woman. Blonde Mandy believed his unabashed professions of love, and didn’t object when he moved in with her. Now he had meals cooked for him, sex whenever he chose, and if Mandy showed herself too independent, she’d soon learn. It was a mistake to beat up a woman too early, better to convince the stupid sod that she was pathetic and worthless first. He’d already started, just a few hints that she was putting on weight, sneers when she expressed an opinion, and furious indignation when she criticised him in any way. She thought that he should get a proper job, but he was perfectly happy with the dole supplemented by whatever ‘deals’  came his way.'





All colours and all the same.






Mutty said to the new boy,  Max, who was as black as he was, "We're all colours. You and me and Gary are black as black and some are a bit brown, and others look sort of Chinese - we're all colours and all the same so it don't matter." 

“All the same?”

“We’ve all had something bad happen to us or we wouldn’t be here. But now we’re winnards – from Penwinnard, you see. We’re falcons.”


*excerpt from the third Penwinnard Story, 'Trevanian's Leap.'
This book is to be released September, 2013.

Look for my books on Smashwords, Amazon and other online booksellers.


  















Thursday, 10 January 2013

Young girls forced to marry


I have been writing the third in the Shuki Series. It is set in a remote region of a country of Arabia. The topic of  how many of the Arab nations treat their women has been very much on my mind. Two of my characters are half sisters, Shaiima and Honiara Daoud. Honiara is married at fourteen, but Shaiima refuses to be married, and luckily, her father, the Master Hasquitri Daoud, does not force her.

He could force her. She does not have to consent, she does not have to sign anything, she can simply be given to him, even tied up if necessary. No-one would say her father  did not have the right, and no-one would lift a finger to prevent the rape that followed. It is custom and tradition, and not just how I wrote my book of fiction. It is fact in many barbaric countries. 

Look at this article. I have copied it exactly as presented.

From the Bigpond home page 2013

Saudi teen married off to 86-year-old

Thursday, January 10, 2013 » 09:02am

A 15-year-old Saudi girl who was forced to marry an octogenarian has been granted a divorce after a local human rights group intervened, the watchdog says.
The Saudi Human Rights Commission (SHRC) raised the case 'after learning of the marriage of a minor girl to an 86-year-old man in Jizan' in southeast Saudi Arabia, the group's head Bandar al-Ayban said in a statement.
Al-Hayat daily had reported that the teenager locked herself inside the bedroom on her wedding night before fleeing the man's home and returning to her parents.
She had been married off to the man in exchange for a dowry worth around $US17,300 ($A16,550), the daily reported.
The SHRC had provided 'legal assistance to the girl' so she could get a divorce, Ayban said.
Another SHRC member, Hadi al-Yami, said the girl had 'expressed her rejection of this marriage.'
The divorce was announced after a regional tribal chief and local dignitaries intervened.
Saudi rights officials have been pushing for a law that would set a minimum marriage age of 16.
The SHRC is 'trying in cooperation with ministries of justice and health to prevent such marriages,' Yami told AFP.
Rights activist Suhaila al-Hammad says the authorities must 'set the minimum marriage age at 18.'
Saudi Arabia has no law against child marriage, and clerics and religious judges justify the practice based on Islamic and Saudi tradition.



  With a man of 86, the girl would probably not have been subject to full intercourse. He could, of course, be capable of violating her in other ways.

But then there is the factor of him being soon to die. In these countries, widows face severe hardship. If she manages to get work, and is permitted to work, then she may be able to feed herself.  If not, and if her relatives do not choose to take in a widow, then it is quite possible that she would starve to death. 








'To Love and To Protect'
is in progress.

Release date April, 2013.

This is the third in the Shuki Series. It is a story of love and life, and features the sub-theme of the battle for Women'  Rights in a place where religion and tradition give her no more rights than that of a slave. 

Earlier books on the series are 'Not a Man' and 'The King's Favourite.'

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Samray

Also available on other online selling sites such as Barnes and Noble, Kobi  and Amazon.








It happens other places as well.

This piece added 26th January, 2013. 

Former Child Bride, Held Over a Decade, Escapes Polygamist Sect

01/25/2013 at 06:20 PM EST


Ruby Jessop holds one of her six children Tuesday
AP/Ross D. Franklin
A week and a half after she was forced to marry her second cousin at age 14, Ruby Jessop, once a member of the polygamist Mormon sect known as the FLDS, called her older sister Flora in desperation.

"She begged me for help and said she was being abused," Flora Jessop tells PEOPLE. "I told her I would do anything I could to rescue her."

But before Flora could pick her up from the main FLDS compound in Colorado City, Ariz., Ruby was allegedly whisked away by sect members. Thus began a long search for Ruby, who was hidden from her sister and authorities for more than a decade.

That search finally came to an end last month, when Ruby, now 26, was able to flee the compound, temporarily leaving behind her six children, ages 2 to 10.

At a press conference Tuesday held by Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne, and attended by Flora, Ruby and her children, Horne announced Ruby's escape and added that deputies assisted her in regaining custody of all her children last week.

(Attempts to reach Ruby's husband, Haven Barlow, were not immediately successful. On the advice of her attorney, Ruby has not commented.)

"Ruby's one of thousands of women held under the regime of [now-imprisoned sect leader] Warren Jeffs and she's thrilled to be free," says Flora, who's since become an anti-polygamy advocate who co-authored the 2009 book "Church of Lies."

Only a handful of former child brides have escaped the church over the years, Flora says.

"They were determined to keep my sister as a baby breeder her whole life," adds Flora. "That's the reality for women in the FLDS community."

The FLDS currently has no known spokesperson.